


Burn Your Bridges And Learn How To Swim

by gemjam



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Divorce, M/M, Post-Divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 18:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5259047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemjam/pseuds/gemjam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after their divorce Mark has made a success of his life but he hasn't made peace with his past. A chance encounter with Jenson makes him re-evaluate and take stock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burn Your Bridges And Learn How To Swim

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt _forgiveness_.

"Divorce is always good news," Mark's father states as he helps him bring his bags into the house. "No happy marriage ever ends in divorce."

"Thanks, dad," Mark says dryly. "Can you get that on a plaque for me so I can put it up on the wall of my childhood bedroom that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life alone in?"

"Don't be so dramatic," Alan tells him. "You were making each other miserable. You got out. Don't sit there making _yourself_ miserable now."

"You're just full of wisdom today, aren't you?" Mark comments as they dump his things on the bed. He looks around the room. It's barely changed since he left it five years ago and that fact seems far too depressing right now. "If anyone needs me, I'll be trying to drown myself in the shower."

"You might have more luck in the bathtub," Alan calls after him.

They were young when they got married. Looking back, Mark's not sure what they were thinking. He was such a long way from home and that fact made him far too reliant on Jenson, clinging to him like he could stop him missing everything he'd left behind in Australia. It made them closer than they would have been otherwise. It also gave them false hope.

Building a life together wasn't as simple as making a vow and living happily ever after. It was hard work. They wanted different things and they were both too stubborn to compromise. Mark became distant and Jenson dealt with it the only way he knew how. And now, here he was, right back where he started five years ago.

In a way Mark knows that this is what he wanted, to be back home, to not make the choices he'd made, to start from scratch. He didn't mean it quite as literally as this but he has to take it as the second chance it is. He has no ties, no responsibilities, he can do anything he wants.

It's strange how he misses Jenson at first, even though they've been separated for a while. Before they signed the papers there was always a chance they'd work it out. Mark couldn't see a way that they could possibly reconcile, it seemed like there was barely anything left to fight for at that stage, but until it was all done legally there was this tiny thought at the back of his mind that maybe it wasn't really over.

The decision to divorce came far easier than the decision to move out. They stayed in the house together, albeit in separate rooms, driving to see the divorce lawyer in the same car. It didn't make sense for Mark to move out, he was going back to Australia when this was over so finding a short term let in London seemed like a waste of time and energy, and Jenson was keeping the house so there was no reason he should go anywhere. Besides, the familiarity of their daily routines was comforting. They needed each other to come to terms with losing each other.

Eventually, a few weeks from the end, Jenson declared he was going to go stay with Nico in Monaco until everything was finalised and Mark was on a plane back home. Saying goodbye was awkward. How did you end five years of being a couple, three years of marriage? They shared a hug in the kitchen doorway, Jenson's bags already in the car, and it lasted much longer than either of them expected. Letting go Mark felt like a weight had been lifted but not necessarily a bad one. The weight of love.

Mark wandered around the house that first night, walking from room to room, evoking memories. He was honest with himself, he didn't sugarcoat it, he balanced out the good with the bad.

There was the day they moved in and had sex on the rug because it was theirs and they could. There was the day Jenson spilled red wine on that same rug and Mark got angry because all Jenson seemed to do lately was come home from work and then get clumsy drunk and be a pain in Mark's arse.

There was the kitchen where, every year on their anniversary, they would attempt to cook an elaborate meal together and then end up having to order takeout. There was the kitchen table where they sat in the mornings, blaming tiredness for their lack of conversation, but really they just had less and less to say to each other.

There was the stairs where they would litter clothes, impatient to get naked, get to the bedroom, so desperate to have each other. The morning after Mark would always smile as he picked the items of clothing up on his way downstairs. There was the hamper in the bathroom where the clothes were supposed to go but Mark couldn't seem to manage that. Jenson was always so overdramatic as he tidied up after him, making a fuss over each item until Mark covered his head with a pillow.

There was the shower where they used to have sex, pressed up against the tiles, the water making shapes on Jenson's skin as it cascaded down and Mark could never resist, had to follow with his mouth, the heat suffocating. There was the morning he stepped into the bathroom and saw Jenson in that same shower, wanking off, and Mark was forced to count the days since they'd touched each other. He slipped out of the room unnoticed and never brought it up. He also never made an effort to end their lengthening dry spell.

There was the bed where they used to sleep together, always touching, wrapped around one another, so happy. There were the lazy Sunday mornings where they would just chat and touch and nap and kiss and never want to leave. There was the space between them that grew over time until it felt like a chasm. There were the nights that Mark spent there alone after Jenson moved into the guestroom.

Mark should have been the one who moved. He should have gone to Nico's or just gone back to Australia and sorted the details out across the oceans. Instead he was standing alone in their marital home and he'd never felt more miserable in all his life.

Arriving in Australia he can't say he feels much better. He tries to focus on the positives, see this for the opportunity that it is. Pretending the last five years didn't happen isn't an option, that failure will always be a part of him, but he has to learn from it, has to grow and move on. He has no strings and no ties, total freedom to do whatever he wants. He has to make the most of that and grab hold of it with both hands.

For the first few weeks he doesn't do much but mope around his parents' house. He catches up with some old friends, spends time with his sister and his nieces and nephew, feels sorry for all the times he's missed out on. He might want to rewind the past five years but he can't do that for everyone else. They've all moved on without him. He feels like he's stuck in an alternate timeline, a relic from the past.

The turning point is a holiday he takes with a couple of friends to Noosa. It's been too long since he's surfed and he expects to be rusty and maybe make a fool out of himself but it all comes rushing back to him and as he rides those waves he feels like he's on top of the world. His friends can hardly get him out of the water, choosing to rest on his board out past the waves rather than on the sand with them.

He ends every day feeling pleasantly exhausted and with a huge appetite, indulging in three course meals at the best restaurants and letting himself truly enjoy the company in a way he hasn't lately. He doesn't feel disconnected from himself and his surroundings anymore. He feels like everything is finally slotting into place.

Near the end of the week he's approached by a girl asking if he can help her with her technique. At first he thinks it's a blatant come on and on instinct he wants to tell her he's married, but that's not who he is anymore. In the end he paddles out with her, thinking he'll offer her a couple of tips and she'll get bored and move on to someone else. He doesn't expect to enjoy it quite as much as he does.

He watches her catch a few waves and is instantly drawn into the puzzle of what she needs to change, how she can improve. He works with her all morning, finding her to be an enthusiastic student, and it clearly has nothing to do with any kind of attraction. When they break for lunch she tells him how she learnt from an ex-boyfriend but he was impatient and just wanted to show off his own moves. She speaks passionately about surfing, but not about him, and there's a clear buzz about her as she says goodbye, proud of her achievements in such a short space of time.

"You're good at that," she tells him. "Patient. Thank you."

Mark spends the afternoon on the beach, watching the other surfers, checking out their technique and thinking on how to improve it. He thinks back to when he learnt to surf, how it felt to paddle out for the first time, how proud he was when he could finally keep his balance after jumping to his feet, riding a wave back towards the beach and feeling like he was flying. By the time he's back home at the end of the week he has a fairly clear idea what he'd like to do with his fresh start.

Opening a surf school is a little more complicated than just deciding he wants to do it. But he has the money for a small start up after Jenson bought him out of the house and he has the time and the drive and the determination to make it happen. A lot of people help and he promises himself he'll find a way to pay them all back for their kindness one day.

By the end of the year he has a hut by the beach in Noosa to work out of and a rented studio apartment nearby. He starts out small, working by himself, taking small groups of surfers and teaching them the basics. It grows by word of mouth and he reads online reviews saying he's vibrant and engaging and funny and skilled. As his client list grows he's forced to take on other staff to meet the demand.

It all picks up momentum from there. He becomes one of the most established schools in the area with a waiting list ready to fill new classes as the year cycles around. When he opens up his second location in Newcastle, New South Wales, he can hardly believe that this success is real. He was hoping that he could make a living, that he could pass some of what he knows onto others, that he could spend his days doing something he loves. Somehow he's managed to build that into a viable business with real expansion prospects. Sometimes he wants to pinch himself to make sure that it's real.

He puts his best guy from Noosa in charge of the Newcastle branch and he spends those first six months travelling between the two locations. It feels like riding the most incredible wave in the world and Mark is just waiting for it to break. It doesn't, instead going from strength to strength and when he invites his family to see out the year with him in his new house in Noosa he couldn't be prouder.

With every passing year Mark always notes their old wedding anniversary, as well as the day the divorce papers were finally filed. He can't help himself, they're burned into his mind, and when they've been un-married longer than they were ever married it feels like a milestone. Mark has several locations around Australia now and has just branched out into New Zealand. He has an impressive house that he could only have dreamed of with glass fronts and a swimming pool and too many rooms. He wonders if any of it really makes up for what a mess he made of his marriage.

No matter how big the company gets Mark always makes sure that it feels small and intimate, just like those first classes he taught in Noosa. He stays involved with the day to day running, takes classes and hangs around ready to answer questions and offer advice or just chat about the surf conditions. He has no interest in sitting up there in his ivory tower, overseeing his kingdom. He wants to be there amongst the waves.

When it comes time to go to Europe on business he feels like he's leaving his child behind. It's in capable hands, he knows that, every employee in the company has been handpicked and trained by him, he knows they're all on his level and they'll do everything in his spirit while he's gone, but it's been so long since he's been anywhere but on beaches in a wetsuit, gaining peace of mind from seeing his dreams played out in front of him.

Being away from the frontline is something he'll have to get used to if he's going to set up in Europe. If they can get this off the ground then Dan will be running the European section of the company. He's a man that Mark would literally trust his life with.

He poached Dan from another company in Perth while he was over there looking to set up another school. It's bad etiquette to go around stealing staff from another school but Mark could instantly tell that Dan would flourish with him rather than the more corporate company he was working for now. He watched Dan teaching a kid's lesson, playing around with them, making them laugh, but keeping them engaged so that they understood the risks, knew to respect the ocean. At the end of the lesson, after the kid's were handed off to their parents, Mark approached him.

When Mark's new school opened, Dan was in charge. It was more responsibility than the job he'd been doing at the other school but it was also more money and a lot more freedom. Mark felt the need to check up on Dan much less frequently than he did any of the other managers but he liked going there, liked seeing Dan in action, his passion as infectious as Mark's own once was.

It wasn't just Jenson that Mark left behind when he moved to Australia, it was a whole life. He made an effort to stay in touch with his friends, always sending emails back and forth whenever he could, but it was no substitute for being there. Nico and Vivian got married and he should have made the effort to come back for the wedding but it was while he was setting up his first school in Noosa. They have a baby now, a little girl, and Mark is glad that he'll at least get the chance to meet her.

After he's checked into the hotel with Dan he leaves him to his sightseeing and heads over to his friend's house, hoping he can somehow make up for lost time. Nico and Vivian greet him warmly as though he's never been away and even their bundle of joy gurgles for him. They have dinner together in the apartment and it feels cosy and warm. Real friendship doesn't dull with distance, just like his friends in Australia were there waiting for him when he returned. They might have some catching up to do, but Mark is glad that, if the business takes off over here, he'll have an excuse to visit more often.

"Funny, isn't it?" Nico comments, sipping his wine. "You're over here and Jenson's getting ready to move to Australia."

Mark stares at him, eyes going wide, and suddenly he feels sick. "What?"

"You didn't know that?" Nico asks, shifting in his chair, clearly realising he's put his foot in it.

"I don't follow my ex-husband on Facebook," Mark responds.

"Shit, sorry," Nico says quickly, putting his glass down. "I didn't realise that was a big deal. I was talking about you to him yesterday. He doesn't flinch at the sound of your name."

"I didn't flinch," Mark insists.

"Yeah, no," Nico says vaguely.

"Does anyone want more wine?" Vivian asks, getting to her feet.

"Jenson's moving to Australia?" Mark asks. Nico nods, looking awkward. "That fucking arsehole," Mark spits out.

"Mark," Nico says, looking bemused.

"How long!" Mark exclaims. "How long did I fucking ask him to move there and he wouldn't!"

He surprises himself with how angry he is. It doesn't affect his life now where Jenson chooses to live, he didn't know the first thing about him until Nico opened his mouth. He just imagines him in some kind of status quo, living in their old house in London, going to the same office job every day, spilling wine on that same fucking rug in the evenings. It seems like an insult that he would suddenly follow Mark's dreams now.

"A lot's changed," Nico says calmly. "I mean, now that his dad's gone he doesn't really care where he is. He goes wherever the company sends him. He's just gotten back from a couple of months in Japan and he won't stop talking about sushi."

Mark frowns, not able to take anything in after Nico's opening sentence. "His dad?"

Nico's face falls. "Oh. You didn't know that either."

"Fuck," Mark mutters, putting his head in his hands. "That must have destroyed him."

"It was rough," Nico agrees. "He's a fighter. That was a couple of years ago now. He's doing well, enjoying his jetsetting lifestyle a lot more than he thought he would."

"He must think I'm the worst person in the world," Mark says, shaking his head. "Not saying anything after that, not even sending my fucking condolances."

"He had other things on his mind," Nico assures him. "Trust me, I doubt he noticed."

Mark lifts his head up, meeting Nico's eyes and trying to convey how sorry he is. He knows he's telling the wrong person though.

His first set of meetings goes well, getting the responses he's looking for, and he feels positive that he can make this work. He needs investors on board, needs people who know the industry in this area of the world. Dan is good and he'll doubtless thrive but he can't build up this new empire alone. Mark is realistic about the kind of backing they'll need and if he's going to do this he's going to do it right.

He can't quite stop his mind wandering back to Jenson in the quiet moments though and it's been so long since he's thought about him, _really_ thought about him. Yes, the anniversaries come around every year but he remembers Jenson as more of an abstract idea than an actual person. Speaking to Nico makes him flesh and blood again and something about that unsettles Mark.

Nico is alone with the baby that weekend and when Mark finds himself with a spare afternoon he decides to stop in to visit and see if he needs a hand with anything. When Nico opens the door he tries so hard to keep his face neutral that Mark is worried he's going to strain a muscle.

"Hi," he says awkwardly.

"Bad time?" Mark guesses.

Nico glances behind himself and then moves closer to Mark. "Jenson's here," he says, his voice hushed so they won't be overheard.

"Oh," Mark responds.

It's on the tip of his tongue to say he'll come back later but his feet feel stuck in place and he looks over Nico's shoulder, even if all he can see if the hallway wall. Maybe he's been avoiding this for too long, living in denial as though his life in England never happened. He can't erase the past. Maybe it's time to make peace with it.

"That's okay," he tells Nico with something like a shrug.

Nico nods and then he smiles like he understands, patting Mark on the shoulder. "Come in." He leads the way, and Mark feels suddenly terrified of what's going to happen when they turn that corner. "We have a visitor," Nico announces to Jenson who's sat on the sofa, flicking through a magazine. He looks up, his face shocked, but apparently pleasantly surprised.

"Mark," he says with something like wonder. "Heard you were in town."

"Alright, mate," Mark responds, feeling breathless and fluttery.

"You look impressively tanned," Jenson comments.

Mark looks down at his bare arms. "Yeah, well, I pretty much live on the beach now."

Jenson nods, tossing the magazine onto the coffee table. "I can see why you wanted to move back there."

The baby's cry over the baby monitor breaks through everything, and Mark looks towards it, feeling like it's somehow accusatory.

"That's my cue," Nico says, gesturing towards the nursery. He throws an apologetic glance towards Mark before leaving the room.

Mark stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, feeling suddenly completely out of place. He moves over to the seat opposite Jenson, sitting down. "I hear you're moving over there."

"Yeah," Jenson agrees. "Perth."

"Huh," Mark says. "I'm just losing my best guy in Perth."

"I'm flattered but I already have a job," Jenson tells him. Mark doesn't find it nearly as amusing as he knows he's supposed to. Jenson shifts in his seat and they lapse into silence.

"His boyfriend is French," Mark adds, just for something to say. "They live in Australia now but Jev wanted to move closer to home and Dan jumped at the chance."

"That's commitment," Jenson comments, and between the two of them it sounds so loaded.

"Yeah," Mark agrees awkwardly, looking down at his hands.

"So you're over here for your surf thing?" Jenson asks, trying to pick up on the thread.

"Yeah," Mark agrees. "We're looking at franchising. Well, we're already franchised, eight locations in Oz, two in New Zealand. Going to see what we can do over here."

"Impressive," Jenson says and he sounds like he means it. "Bet that'd be a pretty nice 50% I'd get if we divorced now."

Again, Mark knows that he's supposed to laugh but he just can't find it in him. What he wants to do is point out that if they'd stayed married this would never have happened but that seems like an unnecessary slap in the face. He doesn't mean to be cruel but it's a fact.

"I'm sorry," he says instead. "About your dad. Nico told me the other day, I had no idea."

Something passes over Jenson's face before he ducks his head down and Mark feels like he's opening one bad wound after another. Jenson smiles but there's something sad about it.

"Thanks," he says in lieu of elaborating. Time doesn't heal all things, Mark knows that.

"That's the kind of thing I should have been around for," Mark insists.

Jenson shakes his head and he looks like he really means it. "We made a clean break. It's what we agreed. You don't owe me anything."

"Mate," Mark implores. "It's not about owing. I'm just sorry. I wish I'd known. I would have cared."

Jenson looks touched. "Thanks."

Nico comes back through with the baby in his arms, bouncing her on his hip before leaning down and passing her to Jenson. "You can say hello to Uncle Jenson," he tells her. "Daddy needs five minutes to eat."

He grabs his food that he abandoned earlier on the table. Mark looks across as Jenson smiles at the baby, making faces at her. It gives him a strange feeling in his gut. Mark loves the kids at the surf club but he's never had any interest in one of his own. If he and Jenson had stayed together though, would he have liked to have come home to this?

"Do you have kids?" he finds himself asking.

"Me?" Jenson asks, looking up at him surprised. "No. Dating guys cuts down on my chances to make babies."

"There are ways," Mark points out.

Jenson looks suddenly serious. "No."

Mark nods, looking away, and he feels like maybe he's put his foot in it. He turns to Nico. "I think I'm going to head off. I just came to check that you were okay."

"You don't have to go," Jenson tells him.

Mark shakes his head. "You make a better babysitter. I have business proposals that need me."

Nico gives him a thumbs up, swallowing his mouthful of food. "Thanks for coming."

"I'll check in later," Mark tells him, getting to his feet.

"Good to see you," Jenson offers. "Good luck with the franchise."

"Thanks, mate," Mark tells him, showing himself out.

A few days later the deal is finalised and they have three more surf schools set to open in three new countries. Mark has worked so hard to get here, he's never cut any corners, but it still feels like it's come from nowhere, unable to process his own success.

He and Dan go out for a drink to celebrate and the first place they walk into, he sees Jenson standing at the bar. Mark hesitates, causing Dan to bump into him.

"What's wrong?"

"That's my ex-husband," Mark says, nodding towards him.

Dan glances over. "Let's go somewhere else."

"No," Mark dismisses, trying to sound cavalier about it. "It's fine. We used to come here with Nico, I like this place. We can stay for a drink."

"Okay," Dan responds in a tone of voice that suggests Mark is on his own if this goes to hell.

Mark approaches the bar, staying at the opposite end to Jenson, but it's a Tuesday night so it's not nearly crowded enough to hide. As a couple move away from the centre of the bar with their drinks, Mark sees Jenson notice him out of the corner of his eye. He pretends not to see him, waving the bartender over and putting in his order.

He and Dan sit in a booth by the wall, drinking and chatting excitedly about everything that's to come. It's going to be hard work, simply getting the green light isn't going to make this easy and it's a whole new market that Mark has never tackled before. His laid back Aussie vibe might not go over so well in Europe. He doesn't want to lose the feel of the brand but he knows they'll need to work with the audience they get if they want to make this successful.

Over Dan's shoulder Mark can see Jenson sitting at the bar. He expects someone to turn up to join him but he seems to have only his phone and the bar TV for company, subtitles over a 24 hour news station. Mark wonders if Jenson speaks French or if he's just staring at the moving pictures.

"I'll get the next one," Dan tells him, moving to get to his feet.

"No," Mark dismisses. "My treat."

He gets up and heads over to the bar, leaning against it while he waits for the bartender.

"Hey, stranger," Jenson says across the space between them.

Mark turns to look at him, knowing he's doing a terrible act of pretending he's just seen him. "Hey." He looks around. "Are you here alone?"

Jenson nods. "Tinder date wasn't the greatest."

Mark doesn't know what to say to that so he just nods in return, looking back over to the booth where Dan is. "We got some good news so we were just having a couple of drinks," he says, gesturing towards Dan who's watching them, offering a little wave.

"That's great," Jenson says, smiling wide. "Congratulations."

"Yeah, moving the business into Europe," Mark agrees. "That's Dan," he adds, suddenly needing to be clear. "He works for me."

"One of your minions?" Jenson asks.

"Basically a business partner," Mark responds.

"I'm going to have that written into my next contract," Dan says, suddenly beside them. "Listen, I think I'm going to head back to the hotel and Skype Jev, tell him to start apartment hunting in Marseilles."

"Oh, right, okay," Mark agrees. "Thanks for everything today."

"Yeah, I'm pretty amazing," Dan says, the words mostly directed at Jenson. "See you tomorrow," he tells Mark. "Don't stay up too late."

"I should buy you a drink," Jenson says.

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that," Mark dismisses.

"I want to," Jenson tells him. "If you'll let me."

Mark looks at him, the sincerity on his face, and he can't deny him. It's a conversation that's probably about five years overdue.

They sit in the booth, sipping their drinks while they try to work out how to start. He doesn't really have anything he wants to say to Jenson, but Mark has been so disconnected from that part of his life that maybe he just can't remember all the things that need saying. It seems like another life and having Jenson sat before him is like drinking with a ghost.

"I'm sorry," Jenson says. "I don't know if that got said with any sincerity back when it should have been."

Mark shakes his head. "Water under the bridge."

"I regret it," Jenson tells him. "I'm ashamed of it."

"Mate," Mark says sadly. "That's bullshit. You shouldn't feel like that."

"I fucked someone else," Jenson points out bluntly. "I fucked our marriage essentially."

"You didn't," Mark dismisses. "That really wasn't what did it."

Jenson plays with his drink. "Straw that broke the camel's back?" he asks, as though looking for a compromise.

"Not even that," Mark responds.

A silence falls over them and he sips his drink, taken back to a time that he's tried so hard not to dwell on for the last few years. Jenson's admission of infidelity after a drunken office party had hurt but what hurt the most was how inevitable it had all felt. Mark wasn't surprised, not by Jenson's actions but by what they'd become.

"It was already broken," he says, staring down at the table top. "I broke it. I was being so fucking unreasonable."

"I would have wanted to go home too," Jenson says. "If I were you. I should have taken that into consideration."

"I pushed you away," Mark says, meeting his eyes. "I just fucking pushed and pushed and I made you feel so worthless that you had no choice but to get a bit of affection somewhere else. It was already over. When you slept with that guy, who cares? We were done. I'd already packed my bags, mentally if not physically. I don't blame you. I've never blamed you."

Jenson takes a deep breath, trying to process it all. He sighs. "We weren't anywhere near mature enough to handle the disconnect, were we?"

"No," Mark says sadly.

"I think we did the best we could," Jenson says. "I think we should give ourselves credit for that."

Mark nods and he tries to believe it but it's still the same failure to him that it always was. Maybe now he's admitted that he can learn to make peace with it.

"I never blamed you either," Jenson says. "It's a thing that happened."

Mark snorts a laugh. "Isn't it just."

Jenson sits back in his seat, seeming to relax. "Do you think I'll like Perth?"

Mark smiles at him. "Yeah. It's hot pretty much all year round. But good hot, that dry heat. Take lots of suncream."

"I'll bear that in mind," Jenson responds. "See if I can get myself a tan to rival yours."

"I'm going to give you my email address," Mark tells him, searching his pockets for a pen. He writes it down on a bar napkin. "I'm over there quite a bit. I'll probably be over there a lot more once Dan's gone, make sure it's all running okay. If you ever need anything, advice or local tips or... anything," he says, looking at Jenson and making sure he knows he means it. "Get in touch."

"Thank you," Jenson says, accepting the napkin from him.

"No pressure," Mark adds. "Just if you want anything while you're settling in. Or if you wanted to get dinner."

"A friendly face would be appreciated," Jenson smiles. He folds the napkin up, putting it in his pocket.

"Good," Mark agrees, nodding. He feels slightly giddy all of a sudden, lighter than he has in a long time. This isn't something that's been weighing on his mind all these years, if anything it's something he's been avoiding even thinking about, unable to acknowledge a part of his life that went so badly, but he has to admit that now the air is clear he can breathe a little easier. He downs his drink. "I should get going."

Jenson stands with him when he gets to his feet and then pulls him into a hug. Mark hesitates at first but then he hugs back and Jenson feels familiar but at the same time this is brand new. There's a relief that comes from this not being awkward, like a scar that's starting to heal.

"Thanks for the drink," he says as they pull apart.

"Least I could do," Jenson dismisses.

Mark shrugs. "I'll maybe see you around?"

"Maybe," Jenson concedes, the corners of his mouth quirking up into a smile that looks hopeful.

As Mark walks down the quiet streets back to the hotel he lets himself imagine taking Jenson on a trip to the surf school at Margaret River, getting him on the waves. He imagines touring the vineyards and then going to the chocolate factory, watching Jenson indulging in the free samples.

He feels like a different person than he was back then and he's sure that Jenson is a different person too. They've both grown up, they've got international careers, they're successful and they know who they are. Mark decides he definitely wants to get to know who Jenson has become. He thinks it's someone he'd like in his life.


End file.
